belonging
this is my third blog at blogspot. the first two are compromised in ways that I cannot post anything related to homebuying on them (for reasons better left unexplained). suffice it to say that i had to start a new one to get away from the demons of my past - a fresh blog untarnished by (certain) prying eyes. not to mention, to signify a new chapter in my life.
btw, i love this template - so much so that i might not even customize. well done, blogger!
...
as far back as i can remember, i have always had a need to dissociate - from things, from people and from places. if i sit back and reflect on it, i guess it's my defense mechanism working over time. i'd rather dissociate and hurt first than be hurt. it might be nature's way for people who have had to deal with rejection since the day life began.
i don't like getting used to things. i imagine scenarios in which conveniences may not be available, and therefore, try to train myself not to become too reliant on anything. i don't even drink cold or iced water for fear that some day i might not get it so readily. i don't like pillows. i don't turn the ac or the heating on for as long as i can hold out. these are pet peeves - as much a part of my character as, say, my obsession with punctuality or sanctity of my given word... or even my weakness for all things dairy.
when i moved here from motown, after a 5 year period of grad student living in a one-room sparsely-furnished studio, i packed up my belongings in 29 boxes. each one about 18X16X12 in size. they were mostly quite light-weight, except for books. i packed them all myself and shipped them via UPS across a continent. next day, i got on a plane with two regular-size suitcases of clothing, and came away.
i try to remind myself frequently that 29 boxes were all i needed then. and possibly, they're all one needs ever. but one must be ever careful of corporate culture temptations at all times. consumption doesn't always have a satiation point -esp. when it comes to self-indulgent ohysical enjoyment/pleasure. but surviving - and quite well at that - is just about the size of 29 boxes.
so this is how i got the blogspot address for my blog. i am going to lay down some roots now. for the first time in life. have an address that indicates some sort of permanancy. but i must not lose my perspective on 'ownership'and on the transiency of all material things.
btw, i love this template - so much so that i might not even customize. well done, blogger!
...
as far back as i can remember, i have always had a need to dissociate - from things, from people and from places. if i sit back and reflect on it, i guess it's my defense mechanism working over time. i'd rather dissociate and hurt first than be hurt. it might be nature's way for people who have had to deal with rejection since the day life began.
i don't like getting used to things. i imagine scenarios in which conveniences may not be available, and therefore, try to train myself not to become too reliant on anything. i don't even drink cold or iced water for fear that some day i might not get it so readily. i don't like pillows. i don't turn the ac or the heating on for as long as i can hold out. these are pet peeves - as much a part of my character as, say, my obsession with punctuality or sanctity of my given word... or even my weakness for all things dairy.
when i moved here from motown, after a 5 year period of grad student living in a one-room sparsely-furnished studio, i packed up my belongings in 29 boxes. each one about 18X16X12 in size. they were mostly quite light-weight, except for books. i packed them all myself and shipped them via UPS across a continent. next day, i got on a plane with two regular-size suitcases of clothing, and came away.
i try to remind myself frequently that 29 boxes were all i needed then. and possibly, they're all one needs ever. but one must be ever careful of corporate culture temptations at all times. consumption doesn't always have a satiation point -esp. when it comes to self-indulgent ohysical enjoyment/pleasure. but surviving - and quite well at that - is just about the size of 29 boxes.
so this is how i got the blogspot address for my blog. i am going to lay down some roots now. for the first time in life. have an address that indicates some sort of permanancy. but i must not lose my perspective on 'ownership'and on the transiency of all material things.
